Speak Now
by Butterfly Hippie
Summary: A series of drabbles based on Taylor Swift songs. Chapter 1: Ours - B'Elanna braces herself for the reactions after word of her romance with Tom Paris has gotten out.
1. Ours

They knew. They had to know.

B'Elanna Torres rode the turbolift down to Engineering, ignoring the crowd of people pressed in around her. Not one of them spoke a word, but they were all judging her, she was sure of it. Gossip traveled like wildfire on this ship, a preventative against mind-numbing boredom. They had to know what she had done. How sometime over the past four years, her intense hatred for a certain cocky helmsman had ebbed into a grudging friendship, and then into something quite different. And how last night, in her quarters, she and Tom had done something that she had sworn, in a million years, she would never do on this ship. Especially not with _him_. She could practically feel her former self, the one who despised Tom Paris with unusual venom, standing at her shoulder and sputtering in apoplexy. She could only imagine what Chakotay would say when he found out.

* * *

"_Tom Paris_?! B'Elanna, have you lost your mind?"

Well, there was the answer to that question, then.

"He's a good guy." She said defensively, hoping to avoid the question of her sanity for the time being. "We've developed a real respect for each other and from there it just….bloomed." Chakotay eyed her carefully and she knew he was wondering whether he should order her to submit to a medical exam or not.

"Look, Chakotay." She began, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot and suddenly wishing she was back in Engineering. At least the engines were remotely predictable. "I know this may seem…strange to you. I'm still getting used to it myself. But I'd prefer if, as a friend, you didn't question my judgment on this matter. I know what I'm getting myself into." _Do you?_ Her inner voice sneered at her and she resisted the urge to whirl around and punch a bulkhead.

"Alright then." He was still staring at her with the intensity of a phaser beam. "Just be careful. I'd hate to lose you to something as petty as relationship troubles."

"Don't worry, Chakotay. I know what I'm doing." _I hope,_ she added mentally.

* * *

Her doubts were erased later in the day, when she was working at her console in Engineering and a pair of muscular arms, tanned from laboring in a New Zealand prison, encircled her waist.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered, his breath hot in her ear. She allowed him to pull her gently from her station and back her into a corner, where he proceeded to touch her in all the right places and kiss her ever so softly; just the way she liked it.

And in that moment, as she twisted her body around him and he twined his body around hers, she knew that this was without a doubt, absolutely right. This moment was him, and this moment was hers, and this moment was absolutely, perfectly, _theirs_.


	2. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

It was 1 AM and Kathryn Janeway was not a happy camper.

Stumbling into the mess hall, she collapsed in a chair with her head in her hands and waited. Almost as if on cue, a clattering of dishes and a few mumbled Talaxian curses erupted from the kitchen and the ship's chef, Chief Morale Officer, and generally extraneous alien popped up from behind the counter.

"Ah, Captain!" Neelix was positively beaming. "What can I do for you at this early hour of the morning?"

"Coffee." She said heavily, without lifting her head. "Damn replicator is on the blink again." Wisely, Neelix chose not to point out that the replicator, most likely, was functioning perfectly; it was the Captain that needed fine-tuning.

As he set the steaming cup of coffee down in front of her, he hesitated indecisively for just a second too long, and she let out a low moan in anticipation of his next question.

"Captain," he began. "I don't mean to sound…..well, impertinent. But I've heard some…._interesting_ rumors around the mess hall lately, and I was just curious..." He trailed off as she held up a finger, signaling him to wait. She lifted the mug and drained it in one gulp.

"Please." She said, waiting for the telltale feel of caffeine to hit her bloodstream. "Continue." His next words came out in a garbled rush, and if it wasn't for the coffee in her system, she wasn't sure she would've understood them at all.

"AreyouandCommanderChakotayge ttingbacktogether?" She blinked blearily once, twice, three times before deciding how to proceed.

"No. That ship sailed a long time ago. Excluding the obvious issues with a Captain dating her subordinate, Commander Chakotay and I are…heading in different directions at the moment. He and Seven seem perfectly happy together, and I wish them both all the best." But the look in her eyes told a different story. Quietly, Neelix retrieved the empty cup and went back to refill it, the loneliness on his Captain's face never leaving his mind.


	3. WANEGBT (Part 2)

The next day, as she took the turbolift up to the bridge, her head was still throbbing, her coffee had already been downed in copious amounts, and she was no more of a happy camper.

Already thanking God that Chakotay had had the presence of mind not to schedule them for the same duty shift, she stepped out onto Deck 1…

And found her entire bridge crew staring at her.

"As you were." She mumbled, trying to ignore the pounding headache. Maybe she could order someone to go get more coffee for her. Yet the next time she looked up from massaging her temples, not one crewmember had moved.

"Is there a problem?" she ground out, pleading with whatever deity happened to be listening at the moment that she wasn't about to be faced with a potential mutiny. Harry Kim was the first to speak.

"Um, Captain? Permission…permission to speak freely?" he stammered, wringing his hands nervously.

"Go ahead." She sighed. At the rate things were going, at least her day couldn't get any worse.

"Well, Captain…I just…wanted to know…..are you and the Commander getting back together?"

Scratch that; her day _could_, in fact, get worse.

"Now, where" she started, forcing a saccharine smile onto her face. "did you hear such an absurd rumor?" Harry shrugged quickly, looking like he already regretted opening his mouth.

"Tom told me." She swiveled her chair to look at her helmsman, who immediately held up his hands in defense.

"Hey, don't look at me, Tuvok told me." The security officer bowed his head slightly, the only giveaway of embarrassment.

"I must apologize, Captain. I was unaware of any difference in opinion between you and the Commander. I was informed by Chakotay himself that you two were, once again, engaged in romantic activities." The Captain groaned loudly and let her head fall back to her hands. Come the end of her shift, she was going to have a very serious talk with her first officer.

And quite possibly, kill him.


	4. All Too Well

The first Wednesday they were back on Voyager, she was waiting for him.

The door chimed and she called "Come in!" with a forced air of cheer. Oblivious, he strode in with that cheeky grin of his and scanned the unset table and the empty replicator tray.

"Replicator on the blink again?" he queried, and she resisted the urge to slap him in the face. Damn him! Didn't he _see_? Didn't he _know_?

"No, for once my glorified toaster is working perfectly." She managed through clenched teeth. His smile faded and he began glancing around the room, searching for an escape route. Oh yes, he knew now.

"Come to think of it, there are some reports that …need my attention. Can we reschedule?" He was already backing toward the door. But she wasn't about to let him go that easily. In two steps she was in front of him, blocking his path.

"Cut the crap, Chakotay." She growled. "Ever since we got back from New Earth, you have not once acknowledged the time we spent together. You have instead barely spoken to me, except in a strictly professional capacity."

"I…there were…duties…I needed to catch up." He faltered.

"You're a damn horrible liar." Suddenly, all her strength seemed to leave her, and she sagged against the wall. "Chakotay…on New Earth…I thought….I thought you wanted to be with me."

He began tugging on his earlobe furiously, a sure sign he was nervous. "Captain…I apologize if I came off that way. I assure you, that was never my intention." His sudden formality only fueled her fire. Angry tears prickled in her eyes and she blinked them back. Captains didn't cry. Not in front of other people, anyway.

"Chakotay, I was there! I saw you! I lived with you! I thought I knew…everything about you. I guess I was wrong." The earlobe tugging only intensified.

"Captain, I think there may have been a misunderstanding…" he trailed off again, tugging at his earlobe so hard she worried he would tear it right off his ear.

"DON'T CALL ME CAPTAIN!" she screeched, feeling the dam break and salty tears start to run down her cheeks. "Dammit, Chakotay, you called me Kathryn for months! What happened to the feelings between us? Surely I couldn't have imagined that there was something between us." He tilted his head to look at her and his next words nearly broke her heart.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but I believe you did." And with that, he slipped around her and dashed out the doors that opened obligingly for him. She was left with heartbreak, confusion, and one hell of a headache.


End file.
